Lagoon Monster Love

I love this show so much that I don’t want to share it with anyone. I want it to be mine, only to be shared with strangers. Nobody I know can watch it, because it’s like… my diary/baby blanket/the things I only think but never say. I know this makes me incredibly selfish, but fuck it. 

Oh, I want it to last forever. 

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I can’t even contain my tears right now. I’m swimming in a pool of them. Episode 4 of Girls is my favorite so far. (Spoilers below, btw)

Hannah’s speech about self-respect and what she wants from Adam was so perfect, and my heart just broke when she continued to have sex with him. For a second he even convinced me that he might actually like Hannah for her personality, but we’ll never really know that for sure because Adam is one of those guys. He’s hot and he’s cold. One day he’s sending you a picture of his penis meant for some other girl, the next day he’s saying all you have to be is yourself and holding you on his dining room table. He’s fucked up, and he doesn’t really seem to know what he wants. 

Then fucking Ray reading Hannah’s diary, and Charlie’s whole reaction to the stuff she wrote about Marnie and him, and Marnie’s reaction to Charlie’s song. This is so heartbreaking. I can’t even deal right now. I have both laughed and cried hysterically in the past 30 minutes, and my brain can’t process what’s going on. This is awesome. 

(via waytoofunny)

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“It’s, like, amazing. I’m totally not an attached bleeder.” LOL! Shoshanna is the greatest!

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I guess this is going to become a weekly thing where I comment on Girls. Well, episode 5 didn’t leave me crying like episode 4 did, but I’m like… pain-laughing. I felt that I have gone through the same kind of things each character did, at different junctures in my life (well, except when Hannah tried to fuck her boss), and it made me very sad while still wrapping me up in the hilarity of it all. This is awesome/worth stating because it’s a testament to Girls’ credibility. 

The first scene was great. I think Lena (Hannah), Allison (Marnie), and Christopher Abbott (Charlie) all work really well off of each other. The scene had fantastic energy, and for some reason I found Hannah’s reaction sooo funny when Charlie picked up the table and left. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m the only person that found it awesome when Hannah asked Marnie if she liked the essay as a whole (not as it pertained to the survival of her relationship) right after the fight with Charlie. It was so laughable and selfish in a realistic way. 

Jessa’s storyline really empowered me. I’ve decided that I love her, and realized that she’s the me I’d want to be if I were just as fucked up but 50 times more brave and carefree. Hey, isn’t that exactly why Hannah takes what Jessa says and uses it to motivate/justify her life (as with “All adventurous women do,” and “…for the story.”)? Speaking of which, this is the second episode so far (that I can remember) where Jessa’s words inspire change in Hannah. The rest of the episode Hannah continues to confirm that she’s doing things “for the story,” which unfortunately is how Adam ropes her into his maniacal little grasp again. 

Back to Jessa, though. She’s great because she’s so wise, and yet so childish at once. Her comment to Hannah about Adam summed him up perfectly for this episode: “Guys like him will try anything once, even love.” He did. He was all supportive and affectionate towards Hannah, but of course, just that one night, and now he’s back to full-on douche-baggery. I guess boys do this to protect themselves, but it’s ridiculous. She also read right through her ex-boyfriend (played by the fucking sexy Daniel Eric Gold), and ended up ‘humping’ him in her apartment while Shoshanna watched quietly form what looked like a closet. Then when he tried to kiss her afterward she pulled probably the most juvenile/awesome stunt ever: she pulled away and said, “What about Gillian?” Gillian is his current (38-year-old) girlfriend who he is about to move in with; he had been going on and on about how much he was into Gillian the whole day, denying that his meeting with Jessa was anything more than platonic. Ha! You’ve just got to love Jessa. She uses words like, ‘humping’ (does anyone even say “humping” anymore?), I feel like she’s always wearing a robe with heels yet manages to look super chic and amazing, she’s ballsy, she has awesome sex, and her penchant for all things odd/zany is wonderful! Oh, and her lines are fucking magnificent; she says things like, “What if I want to feel like I have udders,” and, “You know, we don’t own anybody,” and, “Just so you know what you just saw, that was me showing that I cannot be smoted. I am unsmotable,” and OF COURSE, “I don’t like women telling other women what to do or how to do it or when to do it!”

By far, the most heartbreaking part of the episode was the end. Charlie’s line (“I decided on you,”) was so right. I feel like so many people don’t understand that. SO many people I know constantly urge me to “get over” things, but Charlie knows. People like he and I decide on someone; and when you’ve got me, you’ve got me, and it’s so hard for me to let you go, because I don’t just “love” people in that fickle way that everyone seems to have mastered. When I love you, it’s for keeps. Which is why it was so great to see that moment between Charlie and Marnie when they’re having sex and he says, “Don’t abandon me. Don’t make me feel safe, and then abandon me. That’s my dad, and I really can’t take more of that.” Then Marnie just springs it on him, after an entire episode of convincing him to take her back, this girl breaks up with him while he is inside her, after she just promised she wouldn’t put him through that shit again! I wanted to strangle her!

Also, that moment when Hannah goes into Adams bathroom so she can feel sad in private was heavily personal. Adam is so fucked up, he can’t even be consistent with his feelings for her. What an asshole! How dare he masturbate! I’m glad Hannah got to yell all those mean things at him, even if they did turn him on. I hope she kept his $100, and I hope she stepped on his balls after he was done, just because he pisses me off. Even though I know she won’t, because she cares about Adam, and she wouldn’t hurt him.

Fuck, this got long, and I’m sure it’s replete with run-on sentences and horrible analysis (because I’m too excited to calm down and say things in an educated manner), but I hope someone reads and enjoys this. I’m extra excited for episode 6 because Judd Apatow and Lena Dunham co-wrote it! It’s going to be a riot!

(via suck-my-dixon)

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Episode 7 left me feeling exactly like this. Big smile. I now love Adam. Of course I do. I have a real-life ‘Adam’ sleeping in a hotel bed right next to me. 

I almost cried (of course, again, media/art making me cry… how unlike me </sarcasm>) when he told Hannah that she doesn’t want to know him, and that’s why he doesn’t tell her personal things. He sounded so hurt. Maybe all those times he didn’t answer Hannah’s texts were because he was playing hard-to-get in an effort to pull something out of her that he wanted/needed for emotional reasons, as opposed to egotistical ones (which is what I originally thought, because hey, maybe I’m just as self-centered as she can be, and I’m just oblivious to it). 

I have so much more to say about this episode, but I must away to bed. Free breakfast only lasts until 9am, and we’re going to try and take some stuff for the road. Good night!

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