Lagoon Monster Love

Just a little rant, feel free to disregard. If you have a problem with abundant text posts, deal with it.

I HATE BOYS I HATE BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I spent so much of my life oblivious to their penchant for evil because I was treated very well by them for a long time, but I guess the boy-verse is catching me up on my quota now. FUCK THOSE SIMPLE-MINDED IMPS!

Let me tell you and your dick something, Mr. Man, you have no idea what the FUCK you’re doing! Some day when old age has robbed your penis of its ability to become erect, and your hands of their dexterity, and your mind of its wits, and you’re alone, you will look back and feel remorseful for all the libido-driven, overtly macho bullshit you did in your youth. 

You want to ditch me to go to a strip club; go the fuck ahead! You want to tell me you’re all heartbroken over the distance that’s keeping us from having a relationship WHILE YOU’RE PUTTING THE MOVES ON YOUR EX; do it! You want to…UGH it’s not even worth getting into anymore! Just don’t expect shit in return, you demonic skull fuckers! Especially since I have made it absolutely clear to you that I am still deeply hurt after what happened in January. You’ve got some fucking nerve.  

I will let you know, without meaning to sound pompous or conceited, that I’m the kind of girl you hold the fuck on to! I’m the kind of girl you drag to the altar quick, because you don’t want her to get away! So fuck you and your charming geeky-ness, your sexy-ass disheveled hairstyle, your just-right facial hair, and your gorilla-like stature and hands. Fuck you for being so fucking hot and sweet at first, and then turning into a beast! I refuse to feel anymore upset by you past the second I click the “Create post” button.

Good riddance, sluts!

**NOTE: I am fully aware not all boys are like this. I’m very angry and this is just how I feel at the moment. I’m not very level-headed right now, I just got some shitty news. Don’t bitch or anything.**

Leave Note / Reblog
rant boys sluts

So, I’ve been moping since about 9pm last night. I suppose that’s good enough. I just have a few things to clear up:

If someone says that they love you, but spend an entire night either making you feel like a “super-bitch” or making you feel so terrible about your life that they come super close to convincing you that they are your “best option”, even though you’ve established you want out… well, do I really need to say it?

I guess what I want to say to him can be summed up pretty easily now that my mind is clearer: Eat my ass, man.

Leave Note / Reblog
boys venting time rant blahblahblah

WHAT?!

I recognize that I have been MIA from Tumblr for a few weeks now, and also that it’s pretty dumb to return with a rant about a boy. However, I’m stressed (as it is finals week), and this boy needs to read this, so:

I think I love you. I don’t really trust you, because you disappear for a couple days at a time, but I definitely feel very strongly about you. I’m not your girlfriend, you don’t owe me anything, but I must ask: why do you feel the need to destroy everything good that creeps into your life solely because you’re scared? What are you so afraid of?

If you want to do whatever it is you’re doing with other people, fine. Just don’t rub it in my face, and don’t expect me to drop everything I’ve got going for me either. You are now officially deemed “human pillow.” In case ya’ aren’t sure, that’s a downgrade from “potential boyfriend,” so I hope you feel this is working out for you.

ALSO: I may not be conventionally pretty, or thin, or sexy, or suave, but I’m smart and kind and funny and in the very least I have quite an… involved ’crush’ on you. So why you’d threaten to be fucking around with (a) Barbie(s) is beyond me. 

Leave Note / Reblog
boys the bear and the butterfly shut up